My darling daughter,
Thanks to the Internet I now know where you are and I can breathe again. Your pudgy parents are very good detectives thanks to SVU-TV and a few years working with inter-city youth when you were just young. I never thought I would use my hunting down skills on you.
Your mother was very upset when you left without telling anyone. She assumed the worst, and frankly, I did as well. Those were a few very frightening hours for both of us because we love you, want the best for you, and certainly don't want you in any danger.
I am relieved to hear that you have only run away and not something horrible from my list of horrible things that could happen. (Running away was number 14 on my list of bad things -- becoming a Ute fan is currently about number 35 and I don't even want to think about the top ten.)
As a dad, I think it's good that you are being assertive. I think you should have taken the reins years ago. Well, not years ago, but I am glad that you are trying to take control of your life. You always had the ability to, and I'm so pleased you see that now.
Of course, the way you did it was problematic. Not telling anyone you were going, and leaving when we were asleep was scary. Now that we know where you are, lets talk about what you need and a little about what we need as your parents while we are at it.
Concerning this boy; He does sound like a nice guy, but it might be a good thing if he and I meet in a public place for the first time or two. Right now I want to feed him to the chicken, and if that means me investing time to make bite sized pieces of him... well, I have the skills, the energy and the inclination for that.
Maybe we should hold off on introductions until you mother can hide all the pocket knives.
Right now I am just so happy that we know where you are and that you are safe that I am tempted to say, "just come on home and don't worry about anything!". But if you are home for a couple of weeks and we are having to pick up after you, I cant guarantee that I won't ask you to help.
I am OK with you taking over the basement, but I don't want to have to bring in a bulldozer once a month to clean it. If you want claim the space as yours, you will need to keep it relatively clean. If I see any raccoons crawl up the stairs I might set up an appointment, as your landlord, to spray for what-evers.
We need to get your health to a manageable level: that's first priority. But there is something else that is going to be huge. You need to find something that you are passionate about, and it can't be Facebook and phone games. There needs to be something you love to do that makes a difference, even if that difference is only in your heart.
If you come home, I will do my best to respect your space and help you find something you can live for.
I don't want anything happening to you, and your mother and I have been around long enough to have good feelings about you not being here.
So here is my "dad list" of things I can do to help you. I am a dad. Dads make lists.
|See how nice a purple room can be?|
1- Get you feeling better health-wise.
2- Set your bedroom up in the basement and prepare to have a wall painted purple of some other ghastly color.
3- Help you find something she loves to do.
4- Show you every day how much I love you.
5- Don't kill the boyfriend dude.
I will abide by this. If there is something else I can do, let me know and I will add it to the list.
Now, I am going to go take a well deserved pill -- but before I do, let me sum up. Be kind to your mother; I like the fact that you have a boyfriend -- though if you think anything of him at all you will keep him away from me for a while; Way to go with showing some "ummph" and being proactive; I will try to do better.
And I love you very much. - Dad
Annie has returned, folks. Things are better, and I have not had to paint anything purple...yet.